Passion is Not a Dirty Word

In this third Travel Therapy session, I mull over my taste of passion after wandering for a couple of weeks in the Belize Rainforest and Reef and the Costa Rica Rainforest. My conclusion? Passion is NOT a dirty word!


“…above all, my beautiful, peculiar, translucent child – be passionate. It matters not what you’re passionate about, only that you are.” | CHRISTOPHER POINDEXTER


Hope. Nature. And, confusion. These are three intangible souvenirs I brought home with me from Belize and Costa Rica.

HOPE Until my dying day, I will adamantly declare that my motion sickness is, was, and never has been psychological. My mom will confirm I was a woozy infant in her arms back in the pre-carseat days who grew to be a queasy passenger in need of frequent vomit stops. So it never occurred to me to do anything, but accept this curse…until now. I was pretty astounded that my reliance on the little white vomit bag lessened with each of the four hopper flights required of our adventurous rainforest itinerary. There is HOPE that I can beat at least a portion of this curse…an awesome souvenir.

NATURE I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so immersed in nature as during my time spent in the rainforest. My husband and two kiddos want little to do with it

“I work hard at the office, Honey, and I want to relax on our vacations.”
“Ummm, ewwww…it’s disgustingly filthy out there.”

This is just a tiny sampling of the noise pollution I hear when I try to commune with nature with the family in tow. And, sadly, I don’t have the luxury of much solo time right now…but, things are going to change a bit. This trip made it clear that the oft overlooked ME needs more nature in my life, so I’ll be immersing myself a bit more. With and without my kids.

CONFUSION He had no intention of shaking me up. In fact, I’m quite sure he has no clue he did. Nito the Nature Guide is just a guy sharing his tiny corner of the Universe with those tourists who are adventurous enough to get themselves to Lapa Rios Ecolodge. From the moment I mistook him for another guest, I was drawn to him. It felt good to be in his presence. After returning home, his absence hit me. Oh my God, was I crushing like a teenage schoolgirl???

Just two months later, he took me up on my offer to be his personal tour guide on my home turf. From bird watching to the fully-stocked San Diego Zoo to an over-the-top American Halloween, Nito was beside himself. It was invigorating to see my city, including the zoo that I could navigate blindfolded after countless visits with my kids, through his ecstatic eyes. I even discovered a few new places I’d missed in the last 20+ years.

I was blindsided by what happened when he left. A gaping empty space, secret tears, and utter confusion. I was bereft…and determined to make sense of it. It took a week of soul diving for the lightbulb to illuminate enough for me to begin to see. It wasn’t the man that had turned me on, it was his palpable passion and the positive energy that it created. I realized that not once during his visit did I have a nagging itch! This was HUGE. I wasn’t weeping over him, but for myself. Poof! Passion and energy gone. Bam!

A weighty realization that I needed more Nito-types in my life and more energy sources of my very own. “Nitos” were either endangered or deep in hiding in my little suburban corner of the Universe as I had never encountered a single one. And, while travel and writing were definitely two large pieces of clearing my inner confusion, I had to start actively looking for the other missing pieces.

And, most importantly, I have to stop buying into the myth that passion is not attractive in a housewife…passion is NOT a dirty word!

In my next Travel Therapy session, I begin searching for my tribe after a behemoth summer road trip to the California Redwoods and Sequoia National Forest.